Domestic violence

The Domestic Violence Resource Centre (DVRC) located in Brisbane wisely states that domestic and family violence is common throughout all levels of our society and in all types of relationships, but stresses that being abused is not a normal part of domestic and/or family life.

The DVRC goes on to describe different types of abusive behaviours that are common in domestic violence:

• physical – punching, pushing, being injured with weapons/objects etc.
• verbal – constant put-downs, name calling etc.
• sexual – any forced or unwanted sexual contact/activity etc.
• social – controlling where you go, who you see, geographically isolating you
• financial – being refused/denied access to money etc.
• damage to property – kicking a hole in the wall, scratching your car, etc.
• psychological – behaviour and/or comments that undermine your sense of self, etc.
• spiritual/cultural – not allowing you to practise your chosen religion or cultural beliefs
• stalking – worrying or frightening you by watching, phoning or following you.  Stalking is a crime.

The most comprehensive source on domestic violence we could find is the information provided by the Australian government's Parliamentary Library.  Unfortunately, this looks as if it is a bit out-of-date, but it tells you everything you need to know, including where to find refuge from violence in every State if you scroll down to the bottom of their page.

The Australian Domestic & Family Violence Clearinghouse also has a comprehensive web site, but like the Parliamentary Library's site, is not much use if you are in a hurry.  The best part of this web site is the Links page, which contains links to many organisations that are interested in domestic violence.  However, many of these links are out of date or point to non-existent organisations.

The effect of domestic violence on children

Children need safe environments if they are to grow to become health and well-adjusted adults.  Kids are particularly good at working out what their parents are doing, and can be badly affected if they are living in a family where domestic violence occurs. 

Often children in situations of domestic violence blame themselves for the violence, and think they are responsible for stopping it.  This can be traumatic, even if you think they aren't seeing or hearing what is going on.  Many children learn how to behave as if nothing is happening, but that does not mean they are unaffected.

If you are in an abusive relationship, it can be very difficult to look after the needs of your children.  First of all, you need to take care of yourself.  Develop a safety plan if you remain in the relationship and ask for help.

What is the government doing to help?

In 2009 the Rudd government published an action plan aimed at reducing violence against women and their children:

Time for Action:  The National Council's Plan for Australia to Reduce Violene against Women and their Children

This plan acknowledges that violence against women and their children is a profound problem in Australia and identifies a series of actions, many urgent, to address the problem.  To date, we are unaware that any funding has been allocated to implement this plan.